A line from Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code was probably best suited to her current situation.
“Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear, than to obtain what they desire”
She would consider sitting down and pondering over those words that swiftly ran across her head, like a faceless monster through the trees in the night, but time had not been her proud possession for quite some time.
But have recollections ever stopped just cause we wanted them to? Her hair was grey and the skin wrinkled, yet her memory was intact. So was her pace.
Her steps gained speed and the very few light bulbs hanging across the dark corridor, glowed a constant yellow with no sign of flickering. She had to run, she knew that much. But the pain?
Could she surpass that?
That brought her back to the article she’d read a while back, by VS Ramachandran, a neurologist, who said “Pain is an opinion on the organism’s state of health rather than a mere reflective response to an injury.”
The article had further continued to explain the curiously successful cure of a man with phantom limb pain of clenched fist. With the arrangement of mirrors, Ramachandran had created the illusion that the man’s amputated arm was restored. The mere appearance of his phantom hand opening and closing normally turned out to be like an antidote to cure his unbearable pain that was spreading across his mind and soul like the poison of an Inland Taipan. Since he ‘thought’ he was better, he finally began to feel the same. As crazy as that sounds.
Hence, she thought to herself that if the phantoms in her mind could be cleared clean by just assuming that the root of the problems have vanished to the plane of non-existence, then will it solve all her problems? Everything?
But what if those phantoms decided to break free from the confinements of your rugged, confused mind and jumped out into reality, would you rather listen to them than run away cause in this case, the darkness lurks not among the shadows, but shows its face to the glaring sun. And the only way to get rid of your fear towards it, is to accept and listen to it and let go off the desire to see it fade away into whatever it came from, cause under the given circumstances, the latter thought just sounds like wishful thinking.
Her thoughts were disrupted by a distant wailing. She stopped, her left leg making the last step. It was more of a drag, hardly being able to keep up with the pace of it’s counterpart.
It wasn’t nearing. Just stayed right ahead, somewhere. And a distinct sound along with it, that resembled a door knob being opened against resistance. And then pushed close again.
A demon trying to enter the mortal world, maybe.
Or maybe not. Again, monsters never gave you premonitions of their arrival. That’s all just in the movies.
She had been walking for hours. Her feet had started to bleed. Her knee joints would give away like creepers without their stick for support, yet she knew she should not stop moving… she would not let him find her again.
Ever since the accident, a dark figure had been following her around, constantly whispering in her ears. She knew she had to get away from him. The phantom could have been just someone that came out of her brain, someone that others would say did not exist. But that was not important. All she knew for now was, in order to avoid the rebelliously strong fear, she had to listen to him.
“Run, before the end befalls” he’d said, the words dripping into her head painfully, making black explosions that could have been just migraines.
“Run before you’re stuck here in purgatory forever, watching the mortals move on, while you reminisce in what was and dream about what could be. Run before I get to the same pace as you.”
Those were the whispers. The hauntings that came through the wall everytime she tried to sleep.
Intuition told her it was a door. A door at the end of an ill lit corridor that would open, just for her, and she would finally find the light. The peace.
The wailing grew louder.
And so did the forceful banging, that felt like an indecisive war between two equally strong competitors.
This was not that door, she knew that much.
But there was no turning around.
She closed her eyes tight. And when she opened them, the portal had materialized in front of her, the door broken down to dust and a dark hue radiating from within. The evil had won and whatever it was, she felt it taking her away with it.
She woke up with a jolt. The world reshaped itself to how she had left it- the house still in a mess, the blue curtains casting shadows on the floor and yesterday’s newspaper strewn across the carpet.
As soon as she came back to her senses, her body twisted and she turned around- to check for the entity, praying it to have gone, even though knowing well she had failed this time too. She’d taken the wrong path yet again. And as if the whole world ceased for that moment, and all hopes crashed down and got buried deep within the darkness of the Earth, her eyes reflected the darkness looking back at her maliciously. And with the feeling of an impending doom, she realized, she was still dead.
To be continued–>